Watching CNN’s This is Life with Lisa Ling, the episode on sugaring in the multi-national Seeking Arrangement platform gave a mixed feeling. I personally disagree with this business but the founder of Seeking Arrangement, Brandon Wade appears to be a timid nerdy middle-age guy. When Lisa tried to get rid of something in his hair, he gave a shy kiddy smile.
Sugaring is a term which refers to mature rich men dating usually much younger women, with the mutual understanding that men will pay lots of money and give expensive presents to the women for their accompany. Seeking Arrangement is a well-known platform for this.
Bradon Wade said he grew up geeky and shy in a strict Singaporean family. His mom raised him, and told him that if he studies hard, get rich, he could have a girlfriend with his generosity.
The reality proved different. Brandon graduated from MIT, got 6 figure salary and still couldn’t get a date. So after trying out some dating websites in vain, he started one for people “just like him”.
He appeared to be frustrated and disappointed that he acted on his mother’s advice which he believed all along, yet yields no result, so he strongly justified conducting his business. I wonder if his mother gave him other advice back then, things may change. Instead of linking dating opportunity with level of wealth, she could simply encourage him to improve his interpersonal and presentation skills to be more natural in his communication with ladies. Then, would he be happier and this business wouldn’t have to come about?
I can’t help but wonder…
thinkin about 
well the advice he got was horrible, although the logic behind it is not as bad as the sentiment.
generational differences aside, im working on a theory that once you turn 40, its easier to find women in their 20s and 30s than it is someone in say, their 50s. the datapoints are really small and the cross section isnt scientific either, this is just my experience so far. it used to be, women in their 40s were more interested in me. now, it seems like every woman that even wants to talk to me is younger– out of college generally, but younger.
im starting to wonder if some “trophy wives” (awful expression, but it certainly speaks to the stereotype being passed around) arent a simple matter of supply and demand.
if you think thats crazy, consider this– women in their 20s and 30s are looking to meet guys, start families, and establish a home. a lot of women that start to get older are still beautiful, interesting and good to talk to, but when it comes to a relationship many are very skeptical, restless, and looking to explore, or do the opposite of settling down.
theyve done all that (maybe it didnt work out better for them than it did for me) and now theyre going to do their thing. this doesnt apply to everyone, and it doesnt have to– supply and demand (and if you want to suggest another phrase, please do) may make younger women more likely, in a way. especially if youre in good shape, interesting and fun to be around. my last two girlfriends were in their 40s, my last date was in her mid 20s– and she got married to an ex boyfriend shortly thereafter. but not before suggesting that a second date would be nice; kind of flattering, i suppose.
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Hi Codeinfig. Thanks for your comment and sharing.
I just thought it is a pity that Brandon Wade equates wealth with chances for relationship because his mum instilled this thought early in his life and he ended up hurt and disappointed, which led to this legal but morally controversial business.
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i hate to put it this way, but wealth *does* increase your chances. trust me, im not wealthy and i can tell 🙂
now im not saying that it increases the likelihood that youll find happiness or a meaningful relationship– money alone wont do that, and this is a fine example. i can do good things with money– i can save some for helping my loved ones, i can buy a house to live in, i can give it away to good causes (and i like doing that anyway.) money can really help sometimes– putting it first is one of the worst things people do, and thats pretty much what happened due to his mothers awful advice.
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Hi Codeinfig. Thanks for your reply.
Agree with you, his mother puts money first and that was what got her son miserable. For Brandon Wade, money is not the concern for his dating problem.
I am glad to hear you like to put money into meaningful use, money is only a number, but if we use it wisely, it can turn into meaningful stories. We need more people like you.
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